In this new season of marriage (to an amazing man, I might add 🤗), the Lord is stretching and growing me in significant ways, and I couldn’t be more grateful. Though I could share many different facets of “learning,” the one that is top of mind is the recent gift that my Father gave me on Easter Sunday morning….
Over the last month, I wrestled with a lack of peace and some uncharacteristic agitation in both my thinking and actions. I was tired on a regular basis (thinking it was jet lag from a trip back to the US) and I truly couldn’t seem to get to the bottom of it. In that place of confusion it seemed to me that circumstances and interactions with certain people were causing my agitation. However, the truth was that I needed a revelation from Jesus of my own heart–the part of my heart that I could not clearly see.
The Saturday before Easter, I was so discouraged that I finally started asking Jesus to help. I know He was just waiting for me to ask so He could pour His grace over me. I went to sleep that night, and about 2:00 am he woke me up. As I was laying there, I received a revelation of two words–“scorn and disdain.” He told me that I was fighting a spirit of “scorn and disdain” and that they were rooted in pride and that I needed to repent. Wow!! I knew I didn’t come up with that!
I cannot tell you how grateful I was (and still am) for the gift of repentance. I truly didn’t know what to do or where to turn, and in His absolute love for me, He showed up with the gift of His conviction and repentance. I almost couldn’t wait until morning to confess, repent and be done with this thing!
Easter Sunday morning dawned clear and bright and I had the amazing gift of celebrating the reality of the cross and the power of repentance that was bought through Jesus’ blood as I kneeled with my husband before my Father the King and repented, receiving grace…His amazing and unlimited grace.
Joy, energy, clarity of thought and peace returned instantly after my repentance, and it was only then that I realized how much energy had been wasted in living with the sinful mindset that I was operating in.
Repentance…what a gift…one that I want to receive and embrace every time as an amazing gift from my Father who loves me more than I can even imagine.